I want to live within a community that's as self-sustaining
as possible. A group of people continuously co-building and improving
communication techniques to create a "World where everyone
wins" (HAI); by moving in this direction, our quality of
life will continuously improve
Heading this "Space
ship" we call, Earth, toward a world without paralyzing Fear,
Violence, or Repression of any kind: sexual, spiritual, hierarchical,
controlling, manipulating when it feels like being exploited,
I want to live with people committed to recreating
emotional, psychological, economical and etc., structures. I
feel very strongly that as motivators, cooperation and love be
greatly emphasized over competition and fear. The knowledge exits
right now, to teach along these lines from nursery school through
the doctorate program in every school on the planet.
I want to live in/with a community where we are always
of helping each other (without rescuing) to improve
our humanitarian communication skills. I believe that using a
variety of communication/conflict resolutions "Games"
and techniques can best achieve this. A few examples: "I
feel" statements instead of "You make me", enhancing
our self-esteem because we are taking responsibility for our own
emotions rather than putting that "On" another person,
this isn't possible anyway; "Active listening
as opposed to "Parroting
", and the "Forum":
a group and individual self-esteem enhancing "Game"
designed to transparently share and shed emotional "Issues".
Here are a few "Guiding Light" phrases
I use in my life and are part of my "Vision": "Ask
for 100% of what you want 100% of the time, be willing to Hear
"No", and negotiate for the difference, "Awareness
plus experience equals potency", "The awesome power
of fantasy is awesome
", the word, "Intimacy"
taken apart phonetically spells.., "Into-me-you-see
also, Communication is the Best Lubrication
", in all
aspects of living. These "Tools" plus others, my own,
observations, instincts, and experience, help me to be always
moving toward (even when I'm not) co-creating community being
transparent, direct, honest, and kind. I feel that a lot of our
"Work" is to put out what we'd like to get back.
"Thank you!" Stan Dale, The Human Awareness
Institute's Love, Intimacy, Sexuality Workshops, Isadora Alman,
Stephen Davis, The Network for a New Culture, Z.E.G.G., and all
the other players in my life; past, present, and future.
I want to co-live with folks actively involved in
creating together a love/life environment. One with an overall,
Genuine, warm feeling of mutual trust, respect, and support.
Perhaps one of our greatest challenges, and the greatest act of
love we can give each other is to be willing to really Hear and
accept without judgement or criticism where we "Are"
at any given moment. "Simple, but not easy
In my life's observation and experience, now 49 years
travelin with this "Space Ship", one of the strongest
and mostly unspoken undercurrents of our human condition is
you guessed it, S E X! This can be the most divisive, most delicious,
most confusing, most exasperating and/or any wide variety of multitudinous
combinations thereof. How many times, for example, have you spoken
your truth about what you're feeling currently, directly, and
honestly? It is from here that we build trust. How can we have
relationShips (not dinghy's) without trust? How does it serve
us to not speak the "Unspoken"? Personally, I prefer
the delicious spoken variety with all its positive self-esteem
building connotations. "Ask for 100% of what you want
being willing to Listen and Negotiate
quick aside here - I find it interesting (actually, really sad)
how quickly and easily we tend to diminish our sexuality/humanity
with our overt and covert addiction to commercialization. Too
bad, as this also tends to tarnish and diminish, as well, the
bright warmth of our ability to really love. We have allowed
ourselves, as a species, to become blinded by money and its
addictive/seductive power. It is only a tool. What if we
transferred that power to our hearts
? I understand, again,
"Simple but not easy..". And, doing the work here
cooperatively and collectively can only serve to build our self-esteem
and enhance our humanity/sexuality not diminish it. So I say,
"Let the work begin and continue
" Double standards, mixed messages, indecision,
confusion, and fear; all part and parcel to some 600, plus or
minus, years of mostly institutionalized societal programming
and conditioning, Especially the insidious sex roles/rules we've
all been propagandized by. So, for me, I am and love to be around
people who are or striving to be Healthy, Assertive, and Enthusiastic
about sex in general and their own sexuality specifically. Please,
this is not the "be all and end all" of my life. I
just recognize and celebrate the potency of life and love. I
hope that you do too.
1. Population - Approximately 30 - 60 folks on 50
- 100 lush green acres in mild climate away from the tendency
of major weather disasters.
2. Diverse and balanced as possible:
Relationships: Non-monogamy/monogamy (all consensual
forms) Supporting each other being at Choice with mutual Trust,
and Respect, continuously Building Together an on-going, on-growing,
on-flowing, Strong atmosphere of Unconditional Love
3. Organic vegetarian - grow our own
maybe a free range chicken or two with no garbage chemical eggs)
4. Regular massage programs (wide variety of techniques),
meditation (whatever works), exercise (again, whatever works best
as determined by participants), other spiritual/health pursuits,
emotional and physical, with NO DOGMA! (How's that for dogma?)
just a goofin and a spoofin here
5. Housing - "Cluster"
or whatever style(s) people decide on that's aesthetic with and
built well to fit the environment.
6. Complete Health Care: Holistic medical, dental
and psychological with emphasis on prevention and treating the
cause as well as the symptoms; incorporating all forms of care
in use on the planet.
7. Composting toilets, solar, wind, waterpower, complete
recycling, garden composting, environmentally safe cleaning techniques
8. Regular balanced co-created chore scheduling.
9. Whatever pets are wanted that, of course, can
be trusted to be safe, can be cared for responsibly, and are in
sync (as close as possible in the moment) with their surroundings,
human and non
10. Wide variety of frequent celebrations of Life, Love, and Diversity!!
11. Non -polluted river, lake, or stream nearby.
12. Some things I like to do:
Internal/external travel across the street,
the world, the universe, our
Softball (women & men playin together)
Quietly walking with nature
Dressing up, down, not (mostly the latter)
Eating/preparing organic food
Sharing in common social, political, environmental,
awareness and responsibility
Sharing work projects
Music Is Very Important! Practically all
genres, emphasizing a bit, soaring, abstract, what some
may hear as wild improv.. Dancing to Motown, the Blues, and Rock
'N' Roll, folk songs/Bluegrass around a campfire, etc. And more
living love, loving life
13. Socially responsible income producing
14. A supportive environment for an eclectic array
of education and creativity
We all agree to continuously support each other in
whatever various ways that can mean. And, to be especially aware
of the societally programmed addictions we're dealing with every
day: Sex roles/rules, assuming, running at heart attack, stroke,
etc., speeds on the profit motive treadmill, generally choosing
to be more motivated by fear than love, as a few examples. Likewise,
the diverse levels of justification (implied and direct) connected
with materialism, racism, sexism, classism, ageism, etc., etc.
In A word, Fear. I've been learning more and more that this our
All of the previously mentioned and other tentacles
(with and without suction cups) grow from this source. Also,
I'm discovering that we can shape fear into a catalytic springboard
toward Love. Jump on!
I want to live with a community with on-going, on-growing
of the traps (negative habits) of betrayal, abandonment,
judgement, critical "parenting", hiding, mixed messages,
and the Screaming silence of avoidance. Love means/feels like,
looks like for me: genuine trust, support, mutual respect, and
acceptance, being Turned On by speaking/hearing truth to feelings.
Living with people who are willing to dialogue about and actively
risk changing our actions that cause the demeaning invidiousness,
of these emotional, behavioral "Demons" is, for me,
a cause for euphoric enthusiasm. In other words, I want to participate
in co-creating a space of trust by speaking the unspeakable; living
with people cooperatively and actively interested in being as
emotionally articulate and psychologically astute as possible.
Here then, is my vision of/for community. This reflects
my worldview as well. I see our planet heading toward being humanistically
connected by an on-growing series of world wide intentional communities;
each one rich in its own culture and willing to share with the
rest of world. Nationalism, borders, and symbols thereof, being
replaced by all inhabitants of Earth joining hands and thereby
connecting hearts. "Simple, but not easy
Everything I've written is an invitation for questions,
comments, and negotiation, (my personal favorite) because, I feel,
that this enhances "Win-Win" which in turn, strengthens/warms/brightens,
intimacy ("Into-me-you're-invited-to-see.."). "Love!
"Some say I'm a dreamer, and I'm not the only
one, I hope some day you'll join us, so the world will be as
Thank you, for travelin this far with me. The journey
Love and Peace!
3860 Glen Park Rd.
Oakland, CA 94602-1202
THE COLOURS OF LOVE
Violet flowers and green
Others come from all life's
Spectrum of what I've seen
May the garden of our Humanity
Produce through out time, pure
From which we choose
Not to be blind