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Before I (or anyone else) can answer the question "Why am I in the
network?", I think it's necessary to first answer the question "What is the
network?"
For me, the network is a loose association of individuals and small groups
sharing at least some common positions and common goals. I believe that most
persons in the network share a commitment to:
- The Project Meiga goal of a world without fear and violence;
- The belief that the personal is political--that politics and daily life
are not separated, but in fact are intimately connectedthat how we lead our
daily lives has a direct political and social impact;
- Personal growth. We can't live up to our full potential and we can't be
fully effective in changing the world until we become clear about our own
issues and are working actively to overcome our shortcomings. One
important way to do that is through the practice of "transparency"--being
open and honest about our thoughts, feelings, and actions;
- Individual freedom and individual responsibility--a commitment to
building a world where voluntary cooperation will replace
institutionalized coercion (e.g., government), a world in which
decentralized groups operating democratically and practicing mutual aid
will replace exploitive hierarchies;
- Sexual equality--creation of a world in which we can celebrate our
differences and not look down on each other because of gender or sexual
orientation. The social conditioning process has hurt men and women very
differently and in very complex ways, and I'd hope that the members of the
network would want to heal these hurts rather than to insist (like
fundamentalist christians) that "biology is destiny," that the sexes have
inherently different roles because of biology, and that one sex is superior
to the other;
- Sexual freedom--the encouragement and practice of doing what you want
simply because your heart tells you to do it. There is no right or wrong
form of relating; the distinction is between following your genuine desires
or settling for suboptimal (or no) relationships because of fear and
hopelessness. Seen in this light, the questions of nonmonogamy or monogamy,
open relationships or polyfidelity (or celibacy) become secondary--the real
question is whether you're choosing out of a place of love and desire or
are "settling" because of fear and hopelessness;
- Critical thinking--rejection of dogmatism. This involves not being
overly impressed by the opinions of "experts"--even those whose works we
find inspiring. It also involves a commitment to truth--letting facts and
our reasoning abilities lead us where they will, and not "believing" things
simply because we wish to;
- Ecological consciousness. In the long run, our survival and happiness
depend on the survival and health of the earth;
- An experimental attitude toward life. No one has all the answers, so
we'd do well to encourage each other to follow our dreams and desires.
What's important is not that all of our experiments be important or
productive; what is important is that we create an environment in which
everyone will be encouraged to take risks and to follow their own desires;
- Intentional community--the creation of model communities in which to
live our ideals and that will provide models that give hope and that inspire
other people to emulate our models.
What I find tremendously exciting about these positions and beliefs is that
the network seems to embrace them all, and so being in the network puts all
of my social, political, and personal goals in one basket. For many years I
operated on the assumption that doing anything for myself was selfish, so I
did a lot of political drudge work; and my personal life was largely
divorced from my political work--and neither was anywhere close to being
fully satisfying. During that time, my life was very compartmentalized--I'd
do my 9 to 5 job, go home, grab a bite, then often spend my evenings doing
volunteer work on various anarchist projects, once a week going to a men's
group, and once a month going to a nonmonogamy support group. The various
anarchist projects had no connection to my day-to-day life; my men's group
had no agenda other than self-help (via Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy);
and the non-monogamy group I was in (Expanded Family Network) had no agenda
other than nonmonogamy for its own sake; and I had very little connection
with intentional communities. Some of my friends lived in intentional (to
varying degrees) communities, but all of these communities seemed pretty
dead because, I now realize, they had no purpose other than community
itself--none of them had a higher purpose, the one essential ingredient of
any successful community.
Eventually, I got sick of my compartmentalized life, and I also gave up on
the idea that the best way to lessen the amount of misery in the world was
to make myself miserable. I reached a point where I still wanted to improve
the world, but where I also wanted to do work which would directly benefit
me, and in which I could live a more integrated life. My involvement in the
network largely satisfies my desires, both personal and social.
Why do I believe that the network will foster meaningful change? One of the
beauties of the network is that we're creating models--city groups, work
projects (summer and winter camp, for example), households, and, soon, I
hope, small intentional communities; we're showing other people that there
are other, better ways of living. And when people see attractive models,
they tend to emulate them. So, just seeing what we're doing will provide
hope to other people, and will inspire them to action.
Also, through our emphasis on personal growth, we encourage people to feel
and to appreciate their own power, and to truly understand who they are and
what their desires are. This often leads to a new sense of hope and to
excitement about life. And once enough people feel hope and feel their own
power, fundamental social change becomes possible. If people remain stuck in
hopelessness, nothing will change. But if enough people begin to feel hope
and to feel empowered, fundamental social changes will happen--not just in
the areas of community and personal relationships, but all across the board.
In sum, I see the network as a means to realize my personal desires and as
a way to make the world a better place.
--Chaz Bufe
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