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Turock's Developmental Helping Model

How individuals can help each other:

Stage 1: Relationship building skills

Empathy - communicating accurate understanding of feelings and causes of feelings as expressed by the other person.

Genuineness - openly sharing the feelings and thoughts which you are experiencing during the interaction, i.e. if you feel the other person has assumed a physical position that is uncomfortable (as being too close or too distant), be genuine with her/him about it.

Respect - communicating caring and valuing of the person's unique feelings, experiences and potentials.

Concreteness - using purposeful questions and summary statements to provide clarity of the interaction.

Stage 2: Focused Exploration

Additive Empathy - communicating accurate understanding of the underlying feelings, assumptions, behavioral patterns and consequences which the other person may have implied but not expressed directly.

Self-disclosure - sharing past experiences and feelings which may be similar to the other person to encourage deeper explorations between you two.

Confrontation* - challenging specific discrepancies in one's behavior.

Immediacy - exploring issues which arise between you as the relationship develops.

Stage 3: Action Planning

Problem-solving - identifying a person's specific problem(s) and defining goals for behavior change.

Support - identifying personal and community resources available in resolution of problem.

  1. To help a person explore areas of feelings, experiences, and behaviors that she/he has so far been reluctant to explore.

  2. To help a person understand modes of self-destructive behavior and discover unused resources.

  3. To help a person learn how to confront her/himself.

Types of Confrontation:

  1. Experiential: identifying discrepancies between a person's experience and your experience of her/him.

  2. Strength: identifying the person's resources which are misused, underdeveloped, or unrecognized.

  3. Weakness: identifying personal liabilities and need areas that have not been recognized or evaluated.

  4. Didactic: clarifying a person's misinformation or lack of information about relatively objective aspects of life.

  5. Encouragement to action: facilitating a person acting in some constructive manner and discouraging a passive role in a situation.

Guidelines for Confrontation:

  1. An empathy base should be established before confrontation.

  2. Motives for confronting should be examined - whose needs are being met? Do you have a hidden agenda? Is there commitment to processing and deeper involvement?

  3. A person's readiness to hear confrontation must be assessed.

  4. Confrontation needs to be gradual, and proportional to the depth of the relationship.

  5. Confrontations are given in terms of specific, verifiable behaviors or facts.

  6. Strength confrontation should be used frequently.

  7. Always follow confrontation with stage 1 skills, especially empathy and respect.

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